Keepers of Fortitude - Saryrn / Bertoxxulous

OMG the funniest thing EVER happened in my life so far!!

Ok.  So it's nice out and brother and I head to Dairy Queen for our first blizard of the season.

Well...we're standing there while the chick makes it.  

HAHAHAH....I'm laughing so hard I'm crying....

WELL -- the chick dumps the oreo's in and starts mixing it.  But, she brings it up too far and breaks through the bottom of the cup.  Rather than just chuck the whole thing she gets another cup, drops the broken one inside and finishes mixing the blizard.

Ya know how they always do that test afterwards to show you afterwards how thick it is?  

SO...she comes to hand it to ya and without thinking does that test and the broken cup fell out and all over the floor!!!  HAHAHA.

Everyone who saw it just bust out laughing....customers...employees....the girl herself.

My hell, it was the funniest thing I've seen in a VERY long time.

:D

1kpp on UConn.  Any Tech takers??

Thirsty?

Snif, Snif

Just found out coffee creamer is flamable.  VERY flamable....

Ok so here at work we have this security door.  Unless you have a code, you can't get from the back engineering warehouse to our offices up front.  Well...the lock I guess broke one of these past couple days that I've been home sick.  SO...someone made this sign of how to access the front offices.  I took a pic of it with my phone.  Great stuff.

Oddly enough, no one has volunteered their tongue yet!  HAHA.

Military Personnel Restrictions

(copied from eqdruids)

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern.
The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you." Yes," she says, "I remember it well."

OK." he says, "How about taking a stroll 'round there again and we can do it for old time's sake. Ooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, I've got to see this...two old-timers having sex against a fence.


I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.

Finally they get to the back of the tavern, and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers.

She turns around and leans back against the fence, as the old man moves in.

Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, Oooh God !" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life.


This is the most athletic sex imaginable.

Finally they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,
the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching, thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is.

As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was something else, you must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it?

You must have a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

No, there's no secret," the old man says. "Fifty years ago that @#%$ fence wasn't electric."

Let's do a little math!

19 guys and 3 girls work at the company....making 22 people total.  

Now, if I take away 3 girls...how many of the 4 ice trays would have ice in them?


.....



(scroll down for the answer)


.....



Answer: ZERO ICE TRAYS!  ><

I just want to thank my lovely guild mates for our pre-ssra discussion in GC last night.  I've had that damn Oompa Loompa song stuck in my head since 8pm yesterday.  I even had a fookin oompa loompa in my dream last night that I travelled across the world with to ride roller coasters together.  ><  Ya'll in big trouble!

ya know...it's hard to be an efficient and productive employee when your office has a nice window that lets you know how sunny it is outside and how warm it *looks*...

Ok I don't know if any of you have seen the actual commercial... I haven't...but a friend linked me the site and I know I'm pretty tired but MAN this made me laugh so hard I cried.

Go to Quizno's and next to where you see in really big WE LOVE THE SUBS - to the right of that click on the video link.  LOL.

A bit old but still SO funny

KoolAid Quest

GREEN GREEN GREEN BABY!!![/b][/size]

I'm so at peace.

For once....a guy won the wet t-shirt contest!

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" is feminine -- "la maison." Whereas "pencil" is masculine -- "le crayon." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups – male and female and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.  

The women won.

Hopefully it's not TOO much of an emergency!

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having their holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings."

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later there are more blood curdling screams. "Oh my, now what's happening?"

"Not to worry," says St. Peter, "she's just having her head drilled to fit the halo."

"I can't do this, I'm going to hell instead." the lady replied.

"OH! You can't go there, you'll be raped and sodomized!" warned St. Peter.

"Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were a few couples standing in line at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter waiting for their turn to walk through.

First couple walks up and St. Peter asks them to wait while he checks The Book. He comes back saying, "why, all you did your entire life was think of money sir, you even married a lady named Penny. I'm sorry..but..."  

The couple turns away disappointed.

The next couple walks up and St. Peter asks them to wait while he checks The Book. After finding their information he comes back saying, "why, all you did your entire life was drink, you even married a lady named Sherry. I'm sorry..but..."  

The couple turns away disappointed.

As they were finishing up the next guy in line turns to his wife
saying, "come on Fanny, this is no place for us."

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

*************************

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

**************************

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are

you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head

**************************

Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face.

****************************

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not.

******************************

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

*******************************

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

************************************

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

************************************

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

***************************************

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

****************************************

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "Go To Hell".

*****************************************

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

It's 4:20 -- anyone wanna join me? :D