>Who says kids aren't smart?
>Things you learn from Children
>
>For those with no children---this is totally
>hysterical!
>For those who already have children past this
>age---this is hilarious.
>For those who have children this age---this is
>not funny.
>For those who have children nearing this
>age---this is a warning.
>For those who have not yet had children---this
>is birth control.
>
>The following came from an anonymous mother in
>Austin, Texas:
> >
>
>Things I've learned from my children (honest and no
>kidding):
>
>
>
> 1.. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
> a 2000-sq.ft. house four inches deep.
> >
> 2.. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
> 3.. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in
> a crowded restaurant.
> 4.. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman
>underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
>paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
> 5.. You should not throw baseballs up when the
> ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw
>the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
>baseball a long way.
> 6.. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
> baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
> 7.. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh," it's already too late. (No matter how old the
> child!)
> 8.. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
> 9.. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in
> the movies.
> 10.. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year old.
> 11.. Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.
> 12.. Super glue is forever.
> 13.. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> pool you still can't walk on water.
> 14.. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 15.. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
>they do.
> 16.. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 17.. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
> 18.. You probably do not want to know what that
> odor is.
> 19.. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
> Plastic toys do not like ovens.
> 20.. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a
> 5-minute response time.
> 21.. The spin cycle on the washing machine does
> not make earthworms dizzy.
> 22.. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> 23.. Cats throw up twice their body weight when
> dizzy.
> 24.. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
>Things you learn from Children
>
>For those with no children---this is totally
>hysterical!
>For those who already have children past this
>age---this is hilarious.
>For those who have children this age---this is
>not funny.
>For those who have children nearing this
>age---this is a warning.
>For those who have not yet had children---this
>is birth control.
>
>The following came from an anonymous mother in
>Austin, Texas:
> >
>
>Things I've learned from my children (honest and no
>kidding):
>
>
>
> 1.. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill
> a 2000-sq.ft. house four inches deep.
> >
> 2.. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
> over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
> 3.. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in
> a crowded restaurant.
> 4.. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
> motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman
>underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a
>paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
> 5.. You should not throw baseballs up when the
> ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw
>the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
>baseball a long way.
> 6.. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
> baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
> 7.. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
> oh," it's already too late. (No matter how old the
> child!)
> 8.. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
> lots of it.
> 9.. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint
> rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in
> the movies.
> 10.. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive
> tract of a 4-year old.
> 11.. Play dough and microwave should not be used in
> the same sentence.
> 12.. Super glue is forever.
> 13.. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
> pool you still can't walk on water.
> 14.. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 15.. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
>they do.
> 16.. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 17.. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
> driving.
> 18.. You probably do not want to know what that
> odor is.
> 19.. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
> Plastic toys do not like ovens.
> 20.. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a
> 5-minute response time.
> 21.. The spin cycle on the washing machine does
> not make earthworms dizzy.
> 22.. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> 23.. Cats throw up twice their body weight when
> dizzy.
> 24.. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.