Keepers of Fortitude - Saryrn / Bertoxxulous

Woo hoo leiyah has come to play !!!!

Let it never be said that my husband doesnt take me to romantic places to see the sun set...

I see the tinkering gnomers are everywhere (Refer last item)
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Subject: Pilot Gripes
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
 
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
 
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
 
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
 
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
 
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
 
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
 
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
 
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

Diets & Dying

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or New Zealanders.

2. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or New Zealanders.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or New Zealanders.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or New Zealanders.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British, Australians or New Zealanders.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.  Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

After a long day of pillaging, it is nice to know you can lay your head down in a good friends spare room...... :p

Although not a good example of Siggy's crits for the evening, it is confirmed proof of something else  :D