Keepers of Fortitude - Saryrn / Bertoxxulous

Wishing my Keepers kin the best of holiday seasons and a gloriously memorable New Year.

May all your resolutions stand firm and may all your bad habits be lost.  :p

May you wake up tomorrow excited about the potential of 2005 and-
    a. not be too terribly hung over
    b. not have already broken over half of your most important resolutions
    c. not be starting a day of gruelling clean-up after your idiot friends decided to get drunk and trash your house

I think that just about sums it up....



I for one will be asleep long before midnight and won't be doing much of any celebrating (unless it's "oh yay, oh joy, I finally got the baby vomit out of my hair"), so somebody *not driving* better have an extra one for me.  :D

Kil and I have been on every night this week and most of last week... Other than axe and axette usually in the Bazaar, I have yet to see another Keeper...

Where is everybody?  :confused:

Has everyone left us after all?  :(

http://espn.go.com/mlb/columns/stark_jayson/1201283.html

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
 
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if you were holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow to close mouth and swallow.
 
2. Retreive pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
 
3. Retreive cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.
 
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right index finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
 
5. Retreive pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from yard.
 
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
 
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply bandaid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink another beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve friggen' cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little asstards front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

1. Wrap it in bacon

It's been a while... just a little smile to start your.. er... my Tuesday off right. :)


http://home.cwru.edu/~btd/dennys.html

was working away and a little bug flew into my ear...
made me think of my family that supported me for over a year...
haven't seen my redhead for many moons at least, but still...
seeing some of your familiar names is oh so very sweet.

Just wanted to drop by and say hello... expect to hear from me again some time in September... I hope to have the alien out by then. :rolleyes:

/hugs to those who remember me as a silly little chanter
/smiles to those who have no idea who I am

Miss you guys... :(

Aeld~

Stacy@azland.net

Well, on the tails of Aire's post... after much thought and many regrets, I am resigning from Keepers. Zax, you were right. Keeping the tag does nothing if I don't feel like part of the family. I guess I just have the lowbie mentality and I don't want to lose it. I see Keepers becoming a high-end guild and I am sooo happy for my family, but I don't fit in anymore.

To all of you who have been around since this gimp chanter joined Keepers at 29, thank you for putting up with me and being there when I needed you. Most of what I know about this game, I learned with your support. Most of my fondest memories have been made with friends from this guild. Unless you can empathise with a silly emotional female, I doubt that you'll know how much it hurts me to leave you guys...

You'll always be my family, and most importantly, my friends.
Aire, my teeth and fangs are always yours. For the ones that helped raise me, my life for your life, my death for your life, my life for your death and my death for your death. In other words, I play this game because of you, I will gladly choose death if I can save you, I will give all I have to help you if you die, and (despite many arguments throughout the levels :b) I'll never leave you behind.

If you need me, I'll be there.
~Aeld~

http://www.funeraldepot.com/returntosender.htm

http://sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf

http://www.teamxspeed.com/wtf/

http://www.fluffybunnies.org/~winnow/Mezzing

bah can't get it to work.... posting link to brell board until someone smarter figures out how to post it...
http://pub142.ezboard.com/fbrellrantsfrm2.showMessage?topicID=5844.topic

http://www.zefrank.com/predate/index.html

http://forums.interealms.com/ranger/showthread.php?s=&threadid=855

http://home.cwru.edu/~btd/dennys.html