eq/Iraq humor

[Artorious]

Got this on a paladin board.  

US: Ok, putting together a group for an Iraq raid...
who's in?

UK: Of course I'm in.

Turkey: Only if someone makes me new armor. Last Iraq
raid I lost money on.

US: *sigh* Ok, I can't make your cultural armor, but I'll
help pay for it. How much you need?

Turkey: 100k plat.

US: ***?! Are you smithing the armor out of
platinum, ya tard? No frikking way. 30k plat,
and that's all I'm offering.

Turkey: Sweet. Ok, I'm in.

Spain: I frikking hate Iraq. They were spawn campin
us for frikking EVER, man -- long time ago, but we're
still pissed off about it. Meet you at Turkish zone line.

US: Cool, thx.

Italy: Me 2.

Chile: I'm in.

US: Ok, so far, got US, UK, Turks, Spain, Italy, Chile.

Bulgaria: Umm, got room for some lowbies? Thought
maybe we could leech some raid xp ...

US: Yeah, sure. Why not. Just don't attack anything.
Make sure to set up a /assist US hotkey, ok?

France: Hey all, what's up?

US: Putting together a raid, hitting Iraq.

France: No frikking way, dood. Look, I'm part of
Alliance leadership, and I say no way do we go in
there. I'm using Alliance veto.

US: ***? Alliance Veto?

France: Yeah, it's in the guild charter. Me, Germany,
US, Russia, and China can all cancel any guild raid
event.

Bulgaria: Hey, me and the other Eastern Europeans
wanna go ...

France: ****, n00b. Your guild got no say in this.

Bulgaria: ,,!,,

Germany: I don't really want to go either.

US: ...

France: Yeah, we veto. No guildies go to Iraq.

US: What about you, Russia.

Russia: Well, if everyone else goes, it's ok, but if
France and Germany say no, then that's cool.

US: Jeebus. Dood, show some balls. You used to love
going on raids.

Russia: Yeah, but that Afghanistan raid a while back
was a disaster. Total group wipe-out.

US: Yeah, but you were in different alliance, man.
This is different. Besides, we pwn3d last time we
went on Iraq raid.

France: Doesn't matter. I say no.

Spain: .tell US doesn't matter if France doesn't go
anyway, he just feigns death anytime he sees combat.
He's a bu77munch. Lives next door to me.

Spain: Oops. MT.

France: Oh yeah? Well you skipped that WWII raid
completely.

Spain: Only cuz I'd just come back from dueling, was
too tired to raid. Besides, you died in first wave,
spent the rest of the raid licking dirt and whining.

France: ..!..

US: Guys, c'mon. I'm trying to put this thing
together, here... look, I don't care what France says.
I'm going, and anyone who wants to come with me can.
China, you in?

China: *shrug* Don't feel like it.

US: Ok...

North Korea has challenged you to a duel! Type /duel
accept to accept or /duel decline to decline the challenge.

US: /duel decline

North Korea tells you: "Dood u r teh suq. I will r0xxorz u"

You tell North Korea: No thanks, guy. Trying to get a raid going.

North Korea tells you: "Ur just scaerd of teh pwnage"

You tell North Korea: Riiiigh. ****, okay? I'm busy.

North Korea taunts you.

/ignore North Korea.

US: How come you're not coming, Germany?

Germany: I'm just not into the violence anymore.

You tell Germany: Bullsh1t, you're just waiting for us
to go into Iraq so you can gank France again.

Germany tells you: Ooops. *blush* busted!!

You tell Germany: Dude, why bother? He's green to you.

Germany tells you: It's just satisfying, I guess. It
shuts him up for a while, anyway.

France: I'm telling you, if anyone goes, then it'll
break the Alliance.

Spain tells you: Whoop-de-sh1t, this Alliance sucks.
Let's go anyways.

US: France, *** is ur problem?

France: I want to send scouts in first. Let them see
if any named are up.

US: Ok, how long it gonna take them?

France: Couple weeks, maybe. Months, possibly.

US: MONTHS? ***???! Dude, I don't want to wait that
long. I'll give your scouts a week, at most. We'll
reschedule then.

France: I may veto anyway.

US: Yeah, whatever.

/tell Spain Yeah, may have to. He's a dipsh1t.

Bulgaria tells you: If you go, let me know. Me and my
lowbie buddies are in.

You tell Bulgaria: Cool, thx. Are you someone's alt?

Bulgaria tells you: Some of us were Russia's buff toons,
but we're soloing now.

US: Ok, meet again next week. We'll take things from
there.

[Orian]

Funny stuff :)